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  • Cats of Fantasy Twitter — Slate

    Jersey Giveaway

    The star of our first article in the Cats of Fantasy Twitter series — Slate!


    I did something I haven’t done this off-season in quite some time — produced content. As an “in-season cat,” the off-season has usually been my time to mute the community. I turn my attention to the many other wonderful things in life that aren’t fantasy football. Like, Cats of Fantasy Twitter.

    I had a hair-brained idea that I wanted to follow through — the creation of “The Cat League.” The league is Superflex with full IDP. I wanted to pair it with an article series on the cats owned by the league managers. The one huge qualification for entry is that you must be a cat owner. And also willing to give me a couple of pictures and paragraphs about your cat for this article series.

    I’ve been really leaning into the “It’s my body, I’ll do what I want” (Cartman voice) approach lately. So, I decided to write a profile on each of the cats owned by the league managers. NateCheat gave it his blessing because “content is king.” So, we embarked upon our journey to fill a league with cat people and collect information on their cats.

    I wanted this information for an article series on each cat, its owner, and the owner’s draft strategy for the league. I also wanted to add tie-ins on cat psychology, physiology, and funny cat stories about each cat.

    Nate then used all the feline photos to create custom MFL graphics for the league itself. Thus, completing the insanity and truly committing me to this ridiculous project. This started as an idea to get some cat owners together for a group chat and a league.

    It ended up including a plan to write an article series on each cat and (to a lesser extent) their owner and that owner’s strategy in this startup draft. 

    I’ve been here for five years now, producing well clear of 200 articles and an additional 250+ podcasts with hundreds of thousands of clicks to my name. I am finally in the unusual position where I can now truly do what I feel like. I’ve earned it.

    And I feel like writing about cats. So, here’s an article series on cats of fantasy Twitter. Hope you enjoy it. 


    The Cat

    For our first edition of the “Cats of Fantasy Twitter” series, we’ll focus on @FF_LeapOfFaith‘s cat Slate, a longhair with some Maine Coon in him. Slate was originally acquired by Faith’s parents to help keep the moles away as an outdoor kitty.

    Once Faith realized this little guy was a long hair and truly beautiful kitty that was meant for Hollywood, not an outdoor life, she immediately took him from her parents and gave him the spoiled and pampered existence he was always destined for. Strangely enough, the mother to Slate was an orange tabby, but somehow Slate came out white and grey and full of spunk.

    Described as a “little diva,” Slate has been known to make his requests known loudly and consistently, including yelling at Faith until she sits down on the couch with him after work for some attention. I can relate. Slate is very jealous of new people and isn’t a fan of crowds. If there is ever more than one visitor, he retreats to his hiding spots to wait out these social gatherings in peace and quiet.

    Analyze This

    Slate has two particular behaviors I thought we could analyze in this edition — he loves to lick condensation off of cups — Dunkin Donuts iced coffee in particular. And, as pictured above, he is a fan of boxes. That isn’t just a Slate thing, all cats seem to love boxes, but why is that?

    Drip Drop

    As for licking condensation, there are several reasons why cats engage in this behavior. Like some of the past behaviors discussed in this series, most come from genetic memory and instinct. The first big reason why cats love to lick condensation is a natural caution towards standing water.

    Cats prefer running water or fresh water since standing water is far more dangerous and may contain parasites or pathogens. Our little kitties have ancestral memory passed down to them to avoid standing water, just like we do when we see a snake or other dangerous animal.

    Another reason is that cats enjoy the texture and temperature of condensation — it’s cooler and has a unique texture that cats find interesting. Another possible reason is our reaction to them engaging in this seemingly silly behavior. Cats enjoy attention just like humans who never produce content on fantasy Twitter do.

    Cats see our reaction to this seemingly ridiculous behavior and the attention gained from it, which reinforces the action. And finally, the reason could be something as simple as boredom. Cats get bored, too, and their natural instinct to explore is well known and advertised. They may just be checking out your Dunkin iced coffee because cat TV has nothing on at the moment.

    Boxing Match

    The love of boxes is a well-known personality trait for many kitty cats. For the most part, boxes are “safe.” End of story. Cats find a sense of security from enclosed or small spaces. In these enclosed spaces, possible predators would be unable to sneak up on them from behind or the sides.

    Cardboard is also a great insulator, we’ll discuss how much cats enjoy warmth in upcoming articles in this series. Even if the inside of the box is just a tiny bit warmer, that’s more than enough for our little critters. Cats are more than capable of sensing that minute temperature difference with their way above-average senses.

    A different texture and their natural curiosity round out the top reasons why these little fur balls love boxes. The more we learn about their personality quirks, the more these behaviors make sense. It’s unfortunate that we had to learn this lesson after buying the $100 cat tree, only for them to prefer the box it came in.

    Cats and water — what gives? This isn’t Slate, by the way, it’s just a cat wearing flip-flops.

    Diva Mode Activated

    Slate is clearly a good kitty and is also able to sit on command for treats. You can train cats to do tricks using positive reinforcement and repetition. As Jackson Galaxy would say, “The first step is finding that one kind of treat they’d do “anything for” and, from there, it’s simply about rewarding the desired behavior every time you observe it. Over time, that connection will form in your cat’s mind.”

    Slate is clearly a character, but he’s also been known to cause a mild freak-out. Faith relates in this short story. “I came home from work but couldn’t find him. I spent 15 minutes calling him, even shaking the treat jar, but nothing. Finally, I looked in a box I had (see opening image), and he was hiding there. He was seemingly ready to pounce and may have been stalking me.”

    Faith has been an awesome cat mom for many years now and is welcomed into cat society by her little critter. For that, we salute her and wish her good luck in this year’s cat league.

    “Felinicus Boopus,” a spell discovered by @DynastyOuthouse on Twitter.

    The Draft

    Embed from Getty Images

    With a solid squad led by last year’s fantasy MVP, Faith looks ready to compete this season.

    Offense

    Faith came into this draft a master of all things offense and a veteran of many difficult and competitive leagues. These include the IDP invitational and several Women of Fantasy Football industry leagues. It was clear that this was not her first rodeo. Faith openly admits she is still working on her IDP knowledge.

    However, from what I saw of her draft, she’s already a Jedi Knight and is well on her way to becoming a Jedi Master. This team packs a punch from start to finish and should be a contender for playoffs with a shot at the title written all over it.

    Faith punted a bit at Superflex quarterback with Trey Lance (QB) and Trevor Lawrence (QB). However, she more than made up for it with Cooper Kupp (WR), last year’s best fantasy asset by a mile. Faith also added Stefon Diggs (WR), Hunter Renfrow (WR), and some other high upside options at wide receiver.

    With so much firepower at WR and tight end (Travis Kelce and Irv Smith Jr.), she had to sacrifice some draft capital at running back.

    Faith ended up with Damien Harris (RB) and Josh Jacobs (RB), along with some high upside options like Zamir White (RB) and others. As mentioned earlier, though, this isn’t her first rodeo. Faith will work those waivers, and this team will be rock solid across the board by the time playoffs roll.

    Embed from Getty Images

    With Nick Bosa anchoring this IDP defense, the outlook is excellent

    IDP

    On the defensive side, Faith took her Georgia Bulldog favorite Jordan Davis (DT) along with Quinnen Williams (DT) for a nice one-two punch that didn’t cost a lot of capital at defensive tackle. That capital was partially spent at defensive end, where she landed a top three overall option — Nick Bosa (DE)

    Faith also paired Bosa with Travon Walker (DE), another Georgia favorite and the overall number one pick from this most recent rookie draft. She took a splash play option at linebacker with Josh Allen (LB). This pick is not bad at all, considering he’ll be her third linebacker option, along with Jordyn Brooks and Drue Tranquill.

    She was also able to stash away Nakobe Dean (LB), who is almost assured to take over a starting job for the Eagles at some point this season. (Are you sensing a pattern here? #GoDawgs)

    Faith used the knowledge she subconsciously gained from editing all 16 of my cornerback corner articles last season to grab Jalen Ramsey (CB) and Sauce Gardner (CB) at corner. This instantly sets her up with two of the best options at that position heading into the season. Beautifully done.

    Finally, at safety, she drafted Minkah Fitzpatrick (S) for a top ten option and then Lewis Cine (S) for a huge upside safety that will very likely be an impact player long before playoffs come around. With a few rounds left to go, Faith has some time to sure up her depth on defense and finish off this beautiful team. Looking good, very good indeed.

    Conclusion

    Faith used her immense amount of offensive knowledge to land an excellent WR and TE corps. She also snagged several solid, high-upside options at RB and QB. These combine led to a great-looking offense.

    Over on the IDP side of things, you can see Faith’s time with the IDP Guys has started to turn her to the dark side, and her IDP knowledge is growing rapidly. A great mix of absolute studs with Bosa and Brooks, plus rookies almost guaranteed to have huge value before playoffs (Dean and Cine, maybe Davis too).

    This makes for a well-constructed IDP defense that will have Faith competing right out the gate and staying strong all season long.


    Thank you for reading the first entry in the Cats of Fantasy Twitter article series! There are more to come, as fast as I can get them out. A special thank you to @FF_LeapOfFaith for joining me on this insane undertaking and being part of the journey from the initial idea phase all the way to now. Your cat is famous now, my friend.

    Keep an eye out for the next installment in this series! It will be here as soon as I can write it, and Faith can edit it and send it. Until next time!

    Johny The Greek

    Non-delusional Cowboys Fan. Been playing Fantasy since 2003, IDP since 2004 and watching football for 34 years. Being a firm believer in "you should know if the person you're taking advice from actually knows or wins anything" I'd like to present exhibit A: I have a diamond rating in Yahoo (965) with 26 plus titles in redraft/dynasty across Yahoo, Sleeper, Fantrax and MFL and an additional 50 plus 2nd/3rd place in redraft/dynasty, same platforms. I also play in and have won several all-IDP leagues. I started playing FanDuel with a free entry and have won almost a grand since. I've also won many leagues on the draft app (RIP Draft App, we miss you) and play the maximum number of free college fantasy leagues on Yahoo every year as well with 3 titles and 9 trophies in just two years of playing before Yahoo discontinued those leagues. My profile includes multiple titles in survivor and pick em leagues as well. I was a finalist in the 2021/22 IDP Guys Invitational and the best ball tournament. Also a MFL & Sleeper best ball & eliminator degenerate with many titles there as well. I just started playing All-22 this season and I would bet the mortgage I'll be good at that too. What does all that mean? Nothing except when I do something I tend to overdo it. I have been at this for a long time though so I'll help you with your IDP roster and questions however I can whenever I can. I write a weekly streaming IDP corners article (Johny The Greek's Cornerbacks Corner) and whatever I feel like in the offseason. You can find me @OrangeMan3142 on Twitter. Feel free to reach out for any questions or just to talk some football. Check out my articles on Friday mornings all season long. And new this season and going forward stick around for "Johny The Greek's Free Real Estate" where I interview the best and brightest from FF Twitter, and by that I mean the interesting people who actually help you win and not the useless engagement farmers. Also check out the "Cats of FF Twitter" article series coming out right before the season starts, this article series will talk about each cat and cat owner in the Cats of FF Twitter League that was formed this offseason with deep dives into cat society, behavior and psychology with a sprinkling of fantasy football too I guess. I am not an "analyst" I'm just a crazy person/degenerate who has been doing this a long time, has been pretty good at it and is dialed in because I have to be to not sound like an idiot writing all these articles and doing all these shows. My style is straightforward & conversational, IDP isn't complicated and you're not trying to win an argument on Twitter you're trying to win your league. Come join me weekly in season for Johny the Greek's Cornerbacks Corner, where we look at the fine art that is streaming corners or finding ways to maximize your production from your CB slots each week. I hope you enjoyed the article. Let us praise our Messiah Babu Frik and give worship to Baby Yoda. Jimmy G would make a fine husband. Thanks for reading. -Johny the Greek-
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